Tag Archives: anza

The Gentleman Cyclist – Punctures

Gentleman Cyclist 2My dearest club mates, you may not have noticed me, but I have been amongst you recently dressed incognito in my tweeds to blend in.  I have been observing the manners and behaviour of the modern cyclist so that I am up to date on culture and etiquette of the lycra clad generation.

Of course in my day, there was never any need as discuss these things as a gentleman was brought up to know how to act in public, whether on the shooting range, escorting a lady to her favourite hat shop, in the boardroom or when on the recreational bicycle.

I noticed on my foray into modern two wheeled culture that the scouts motto “Be Prepared” seems to have slipped out of common usage, and certainly is not being followed in spirit or kind.

What am I talking about?

Punctures!

Gentleman Cyclist 8Yes, the bane of the modern cyclist.  Back when I was leading the peloton, this was not a problem.  Solid wheels did not puncture.  Of course they were a little uncomfortable especially when you hit those cobbles in Roubaix but we got by without the need for pneumatic cushions.  Sadly today, comfort has taken over from practicality and you modern softies feel the need to glide along on a layer of captured air which leads to a problem when that air escapes.

Now for most it is a few minutes, but there are definitely some in the peloton who could do with some puncture practice.  I’m not talking about old school puncture repair with glue patches, sand paper, chalk dust and all that palava, what I am talking about is the relatively simple task of changing an inner tube.

Now I know some of you have delicate hands, and the fairer sex are always welcome to stand beside their steeds looking helplessly at the gentlemen in the group who would be, well, less than gentlemen if they did not come to the rescue, but for most of you no excuses, this is a basic skill of life.

 pedrosI understand that it can be daunting and indeed if you do a googly search on the world wide interweb, one of the first pictures is a little intimidating.  Surely you don’t need to have all this to change a simple inner tube?  And of course no you don’t.  Pedro’s are just trying to sell tools, and presumably help a saddle bag company out at the same time.

So club mates I researched a little and found this:

An average joe fixing a puncture in around 49 seconds -> Average Joe changing a tube

And a look a little deeper found examples from a couple of past tour winners.

Fellow Gentleman Cyclist Greg Lemond gives us the low down here -> Greg changing a tube

And that scoundrel Lance helps us out here -> Lance changing a tube and I want you all to particularly take note of what lance says at 1 minute 7 seconds 😉

So next time you are out on a ride, you know what you need to do, and you all know you should be carrying a spare tube, levers, pump right.

innppz41Just before I leave you to go and practice your tube changing technique, one final word.  I know you all believe that cycling is all about legs and so don’t like to exercise your arms so if you have decided that pumping is just too much work for your wasting upper bodies and have invested in carbon dioxide (that’s CO2 to you) cartridges, then for goodness sake learn how to use them.  There is nothing marks you out as an amateur more than a large puff of icy gas as you waste $4 of CO2 and ask your mates if you can borrow a pump.

To help you there, there is this -> How to use CO2

 Good luck out there, and happy pumping gentlemen.

TGC

The Gentleman Cyclist – Numpties

Gentleman Cyclist

It has been a while since we heard from The Gentleman Cyclist.  He has been beavering away in his workshop, having heard that cyclists today seem to like changing gear from the handle bars rather than reaching down to the lever on their down tube.  TGC has been trying to find a cable long enough to allow him to try this out, and succeeded by stripping a cable from the Austin Healey in his garage..  The result was quite a revelation and he feels the trend may catch on.  Enough of this, we need to interrupt his invention tests as we received an important question in a letter early last week and TGC has been itching to offer his opinion.

Dear TGC
I recently joined a cycling club and one of the day idea sounds attractive as it will be fast like me but it has been billed as a “no-numpties” ride.

I’m not familiar with this term but since you are knowledgable on all cycling etiquette matters I thought you might be able to shed some light on this and advise if this is a ride I should be doing.

Regards
Numpty Dumpty

Dear Numpty

Thank you for your letter.  I was intrigued when I read it as it was not a term that we hear much down here in Oxfordshire.  It is almost certainly not a term that should be used in polite company and I wondered if perhaps your friend from the cycling club is from North of the Border.  Glasgow perhaps or Aberdeen.  Is he large, bearded, ginger haired, smells perennially of whiskey and wears one of those skirts that the Scots insist on calling a kilt?

The starting place for all definitions is, of course, that momentous tome of the English language, the Oxford English Dictionary.  The OED defines the word as follows:

Numpty: A stupid or ineffectual person.

If we start to break this down for cycling purposes, then stupid might refer to not knowing how to ride a bicycle properly, or perhaps more likely, not knowing how to ride safely in a group.  Equally possibly he is trying to highlight that  or being unaware of the protocols of riding in his group could, perhaps bring an element of danger to a fast and furious ride.  Ineffectual on the other hand is probably assessing an element of how much work an individual is willing to do to support the group, and namely, no wheelsuckery.  This therefore would seem to imply that if you are either brand new to riding with the club or you have the intention to sit on the back (cough! triathlon style) and let the others work for you, then this is probably not your ride.

On a lighter note, and entering into the spirit of our colonised neighbours, I think it important in my answer to give some guidance on the proper usage of the term as just throwing it into any sentence just won’t do.  For this guidance, there is no better place to look than the esteemed Urban Dictionary.  I know you are probably asking yourself what a Gentleman such as myself would be doing even with knowledge of such a base publication, but when one cycles to the remoter parts of  High Wycombe then, if one is to be able to communicate, then one, as the saying goes, needs to be “down with the kids”

Urban Dictionary defined Numpty as follows:
“Someone who (sometimes unwittingly) by speech or action demonstrates a lack of knowledge or misconception of a particular subject or situation to the amusement of others.”

or to be blunt

“Numpty first surfaced on the terraces of west of Scotland football grounds, many many years ago. A player who couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a shovel would be a f***ing numpty.”

In terms of using the phrase, it is important to put on a broad Scottish accent when you use it to get the full effect and some examples you might use are:

“Awww Jimmy ya numpty!! You couldnae score wi’ ma’ sister!”
“they numpties couldnae organise a pissup in a brewery.”
“Nay! That wisnae wit she meant, ya greet numpty!”

To bring this home, you might consider the following at your next club ride:

“Did ya see that greet numpty fall over at the lights, he couldnae unclip from his pedals”
“Would that numpty on the front pedal when he’s going downhill the rest of the group is up ‘is arse”
“What’s that numpty doing ten meters off the front?  Couldnae he look over his shoulder and see he’s riding faster than the rest o us”
“Ya couldnae sprint for a bus ya greet numpty, just sit on me wheel and I’ll show you how its done”

These are, of course, just guidelines to get you started, and I look forward to hearing the inventiveness of the crowd in tomorrow’s ride.

In the immortal words of that peoples cyclist Mao Zedong
“Let a hundred flowers blossom ya greet numpties!”

TGC

Tri-Corner | 16/1/15


Tri Logo 2Martin Reynolds | Triathlon Director

2015 IRONMAN 70.3 Asia-Pacific Championship Auckland
First Big race of the year this Sunday – good luck to any ANZA members taken part

Preview of Upcoming Races
Selection of key races coming up that members should be considering signing up and training for:

Metasprint Aquathlon – The Metasprint series is 3 sprint races held in Singapore. You can take part in all 3 or pick and choose.  Great for those starting the sport and also good for those wanting to focus on their speed work.  Busy but well organized.  First up is the Aquathlon taking place on 8 Feb

Bintan – 23-24 May – a great festival of tri – get signed up now and also sort your accommodation out asap

Putrajaya, Malaysia 70.3 – 5 April.  A hot one and a chance to win a slot the 70.3 World Champs in Austria later this year.  Time to register and sort transport/hotels

Vietnam 70.3 – May 10.  A new event which has generated a lot of interest.  A great one to take the family to as well.

Tri-Corner | 12/12/14

ImageMartin Reynolds | Triathlon Director

WA Ironman

A combination of the weather conditions and strong international fields led to some fast racing at SunSmart IRONMAN Western Australia last Sunday

In the men’s race Frenchman Denis Chevrot was the last man standing (8hr 5 min) , while the women’s race honours went to New Zealand’s Britta Martin in a new race-best 8:56

Once again , ANZA cycling were well represented with some excellent performances.  Race of the day coming from Roger Hastie who swam the 3.8k around the iconic jetty in 58 mins; biked the 180k course in 4hr 54mins and polished it off with a 3 hr 21 mins marathon. Incredible performance!

Selected times with age group positions

Roger Hastie 9:20 (4th)
Dean Campbell 10:57 (29th)
Peter Bennett 11:37  (51st)

That’s is pretty much the last big race of the year.  Time for some R&R over the Christmas holidays….

Tri-Corner | 05/12/14

ImageMartin Reynolds | Triathlon Director

Challenge Phuket 70.3
Swiss Olympian Ruedi Wild (4hr 02mins) produced a clockwork performance once again at last Sundays Challenge Laguna Phuket. Melissa Hauschildt (AUS) finished first female and led her fellow women athletes by more than 10 minutes.  A field of about 550 individual pro and age group athletes representing 40 nationalities jumped into the waters of Bangtao Bay to tackle the 1.9km swim, followed by a 90km bike ride and a 21km run.

A superb performance from ANZA member Guillaume Rondy with a 4:46 finish and earning him 3rd place in his age group

WA Ironman
Good luck to all those taking part in this weekend’s Western Australia Ironman.

Tri-Corner | 28/11/14

ImageMartin Reynolds | Triathlon Director

Lots of racing last weekend and some great performances from ANZA members both In Singapore and at the tri festival in Phuket

Duathlon
East Coast Park hosted the Singapore National Duathlon Championships.  Some super performances across many of the categories. Selected results (with age group position and time)

Standard
Colin Ives 5th 2:08

Sprint
Kathryn Campbell 1st 1:16
Megan kinder 3rd 1:21

Youth
Jack Grant  2nd 36:54

Kids
Jackson Campbell 1st 21:35

Laguna Phuket Triathlon
Once again Phuket didn’t disappoint with a fantastic race.  The sun was out and conditions were great for the unique 1.9k swim over 2 stretches of water; a pretty technical 50k bike ride which featured the infamous Naithon hills and then took a new route through some villages (and even through a prison!); finishing off with a scorching run over the golf course and the Laguna estate.  The mens title was taken jointly by Massimo Cigano and Alberto Casadei, both from Venice, Italy with a dead heat time of 2 hrs 33mins. Parys Edwards from Australia was the female winner in  2hrs 54mins.

A sizeable contingent from Singapore made the trip up and we saw some great performances from ANZA members against a very strong field.  Performance of the day goes to Vanessa Colless who won her age group and was 7th overall Female.

The main event, of course, was the legendary Awards Party – it is expected that hangovers will be clearing up for those who plan to take part in the Challenge Phuket race this coming Sunday – good luck to those taking part.

image001Selected results (with age group position and time)
Vanessa Colless 1st 3:09 (7th Overall)
Vicky Hill 2nd 3:20
Wendy Wilcox 4th 3:33
Martin Reynolds 7th 3:15
Ruth Stubbs 8th 4:00
Liz Reynolds 14th 4:31
Alexander Kolb 16th 3:11

Tri-Corner | 21/11/14

ImageMartin Reynolds | Triathlon Director

Ballarat Ironman 70.3

The inaugural race in Western Victoria, Australia  saw Michael Raelert take the men’s win in 3hr 48mins and Melanie Mcquaid take the women’s honours in 4hrs 19mins.

ANZA were represented by Colin O’Shea with a superb time of 4hrs 40mins, placing 9th in his age group in a very strong field. Next years race will take place on December 13th 2015

Vietnam 70.3

A new race has just been announced – Ironman 70.3 Vietnam.  Date is 10th May 2015. Registrations open now.  Based in the coastal city of Denang

And Finally…
Good luck to those heading up to Phuket.  A week of triathlon fun awaits, with the ‘classic’ Laguna Phuket Triathlon this Sunday and The Challenge Laguna Phuket race (70.3) the following Sunday

Tri-Corner | 14/11/14

ImageMartin Reynolds | Triathlon Director

Away from the fun at Tour de Bintan, there was a bit of multi sport action, including a couple of podiums for ANZA members

Mandurah 70.3
Huge congratulations to Francesca Occhipinti who completed her first Ironman 70.3 at the inaugural half ironman at Manurah, Western Australia with a very strong time of 5hr 56mins

2XU Ultra Biathlon
For those of you who remember the NUS Triathlon a few years ago where athletes on the bike course had to observe the traffic lights (which were aggressively enforced by security guards!) you would of loved this race.

Pleasant skies and a flat sea welcomed a strong gathering of Biathletes who congregated at changi ferry park for the inaugural 2XU Biathlon last Sunday.

Fears over the quality of organization were raised on entering transition – which were just a few hooks on stands – resembling more of a busy primary schools cloakroom once loaded up with athletes transition bags.

Doubts further increased  upon viewing the swim course which consisted of 3 buoys which appeared to be made up of a series of inflated black rubbish bags.  The 3 lap course looked long for the 2k swim – but we were all sure that the organisers had done their job and it was correctly marked out

The 7.30am start time came and went – no announcements, no-one appeared to be in charge.  Then a man popped up at the start line and tried to brief the crowd – no mic/megaphone – so to all but those on the front line he could have been saying anything. 7.50am comes and – bingo! – a horn sounds and that probably means we are off.

Into the swim and all starts off well with the normal washing machine of arms and legs of athletes jostling for position.  After a couple of laps it was very apparent that the course was getting longer and longer. The reason for this (unbeknown to most people at the time) was that the ‘bin bag buoys’ weren’t correctly secured into position and started to wander out to sea. Swimmers – not being able to sight correctly – were all over the place – causing a number of head on collisions.

Having targeted a sub 40 min swim I was somewhat cursing my swimming skills when I exited the water at 58 mins!  But looking back at the water and seeing the ‘bin bag buoys’ heading off to Pulau Ubin and swimmers staggering around exhausted, it was all becoming clear! Consensus from those wearing GPS watches was the swim was 3.3k!!!

Dash to transition and fortunately found my transition bag in the ‘carnage cloakroom’  and onto the run. Run was flat and was a 2 looper down change straight and then into the Changi park. Although the distance was accurately marked for the run, the organisers made up for this with no distance markers and very few and poorly staffed drinks stations.  At the end of the run even the inflatable finish line ‘banner’ had gone the way of the bin bags….

A few unhappy campers also had issues with a  lack of canoe for leading swimmers; poor plastic medals; no prize giving ceremony.

In summary, variable distances may be a novel addition to the race scene, but the organisers need to step up significantly to regain their reputation, particularly to address the swim which could of led to significant safety issues.

Results and age group positions
Standard (1.5k Swim/10k run)

Colin O’Shea – 1st 1hr 10 mins

Ultra  (2k Swim/21k run)
Martin Reynolds – 2nd  2hrs 40 mins

Tri-Corner | 24/10/14

ImageMartin Reynolds | Triathlon Director

It’s the time of the for many triathletes who are both focused on the last few races of the year and planning for 2015.  I have started to compile a list of some selected races that may interest ANZA cycling members.  Most people will have their personal plan of attack and favourites.  For those who would like some steer – feel free to consider:

Newbie? – New to triathlon or considering taking it up? Consider the Metasprint Series starting in February.  Also the Trifactor series is another good introduction

OD? – Fancy pushing it up to Olympic Distance ? Have a look at the Bintan tri In May.  Port Dickson is a popular OD, plus a number of very busy ones in Singapore

Half? – Want to crank the distance up a bit more? Lots of 70.3’s and Challenge Half’s around.  Busselton in May is a great, flat, race with a coolish climate (PB’s virtually guaranteed), if you like it a bit warmer then have a look at Putrajaya in April

Ironman? – Fancy going the whole distance? The only ones that don’t require a flight are Metaman and Ironman Langkawi. A few others (in slightly cooler climates) in Korea, Taiwan, Japan, and lots in Aus/NZ including Melbourne and Bussulton

Euro? – Heading off to Europe next Summer? A few ANZA members are heading out to Nice in France in June.  Also check out Challenge Roth and Ironman Switzerland in July

Rustic? – Do you consider water stations, timing chips and first aid tents a luxury? Check out the Desaru Half, Kenyir lake or the Sungailliat triathlon

Family Friendly? – Do you need to bribe the family with a holiday in order to train? Have a look at Bintan in May, Metaman (also Bintan) In August, Gold Coast in August and Phuket (November and December)

Please note that this is just a selection and not all dates are confirmed so please don’t assume these are accurate or final.

Jan
18        Asia Pacific 70.3, Auckland

Feb
1          Challenge Melbourne

14        Metasprint aquathlon
8          70.3 geelong, Australia
21        Challenge Philippines
22        Challenge Wanaka, NZ

Mar
7          Ironman NZ
8          70.3 subic bay Philippines
15        Metasprint duathlon
22        Ironman Asia Pacific championships, Melbourne

29        Challenge Half Batemans bay
TBC    Tri factor swim
TBC    Singapore urbanathlon
TBC    Abu Dhabi international triathlon
TBC    Kenyir lake international triathlon
TBC    Trifam sprint aquathlon
TBC    Penang international triathlon and duathlon
TBC    Laguna lang co triathlon, Vietnam
TBC    NUS biathlon, singapore

Apr
5          Putrajaya 70.3, Malaysia
12        Ironman Taiwan
19        Metasprint triathlon
25        Challenge Taiwan
TBC    Sungailliat triathlon, Indonesia

May
2          70.3 Busselton
3          Ironman Australia
23-24   Bintan triathlon
TBC    Tri factor swim
TBC    Milo youth triathlon

Jun
7          70.3 japan
14        70.3 cairns
14        Ironman cairns
14        yellow cab challenge Camsur
28        Ironman France, Nice
TBC    Tri factor bike
TBC    Port Dickson triathlon
TBC    Singapore aquathlon

Jul
12        Challenge Roth
29        Ironman Switzerland

Aug
2          70.3 Philippines
23        Ironman japan
TBC    Norseman
TBC    Singapore international triathlon
TBC    Metaman Full, Half and Blitz
TBC    Challenge Gold Coast
TBC    MY Duathlon, Ipoh

Sep
13        70.3 Sunshine Coast
TBC    Tri factor triathlon
TBC    70.3 world championships, USA
TBC    Vietnam international triathlon

TBC      Desaru Half

Oct
10        Kona ironman World Championships
TBC    Singapore duathlon
TBC    Powerman Malaysia
TBC    70.3 Korea

Nov
TBC    70.3 Taiwan
TBC    Laguna Phuket triathlon
TBC    Sarawak international triathlon, Malaysia
14        Ironman langkawi

Dec
TBC    Challenge half Phuket
TBC      Busselton Ironman