Monthly Archives: March 2015

Respect

A special reminder for every ride but particularly this weekend”

When we wear the jersey, we are “The Club”.  We are courteous to all other road users and we avoid confrontation.

Nobody wants to see a Stomp video of ANZA riders weaving in a disorganized rabble through a queue of cars full of people waiting to pay their respects to Lee Kuan Yew.  Please pay special attention to keeping the groups in a tight bunch and if you need to filter through traffic keep it in a neat single file line please.  Your coffee will wait for you.

With that said the word from Dave “Road Report” Powell is:

Saturday will see minor roads, and lanes of major roads around parliament house closed.  List of affected roads does not extend to Stamford Rd (Changi ride) although with large crowds expected you can be sure the roads will be busy.  Would pay to keep the groups small and tightly bunched to avoid the impression of cyclists being all over the road.  (There is a video of just that going viral at the moment – it wasn’t ANZA, but it could have been as we ride the same road/juction that the video was shot at).

 Sunday is the final service for LKY at NUS.  The cremation will be after that at Mandai.  The Sunday rides should be well clear of the area and home by then.  In any case, if Mandai Rd is closed, we can continue on Mandai Ave until Upper Thomson Rd, and head south from there.

On a less serious note Dick Turpin has provided the other side of last weeks dastardly deeds story, and with that balance is restored and it seems all is fair in love, war and KOMs. Good to see Mao Zedong making an appearance in RTI for the 1st time too.

Wednesday night’s Picotin drinks session proved a big hit but the most commonly asked question seemed to be “when is the new kit coming out”. Just want to give you the good news that the 2015 design was finalised this week and has now moved to manufacturing. Expect to see it launched around late April / early May.

The beers also opened up  a few pent up frustrations regarding a couple of rides being “ripped apart” recently by stronger riders. I’ll not name or shame but if you’re currently riding something where you’re able to drop the group at will or spend 90% of the time on the front, then it might be time to step up to a faster group…. The Changi 34 and Fast Kranji always welcomes new riders 🙂

Stay safe out there & be especially respectful over this weekend.

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Tilting at Windmills

Don Quixote on his trusty steed, 'Cannonfail',  with the well-fed Sancho standing by.
Don Quixote on his trusty steed, ‘Cannonfail’,
with the well-fed Sancho standing by.

by Dick Turpin

In which one Don Quixote, bereft of a KOM, attempts to right the Wongs of the world and restore his knightly honour to its rightful place

It was with more than just a passing interest that I logged onto last week’s edition of ‘Rumour, Trivia and Innuendo’ (RTI) having spent the best part of the previous weekend flailing myself along with a number of fellow sufferers on the hills around Kuala Lumpur and was keen to hear something of their experiences.

What I didn’t expect was a fictionalised, highly coloured and self-aggrandising tabloid version of my own day out, complete with references of dastardly deeds by Lance Armstrong, Ben Johnson and Diego Maradona.

The self-proclaimed “hero” of the piece…a.k.a. ‘Don Quixote’, accompanied with his side-kick, Sancho Panza, made it clear that his lofty ambition was to topple KOM windmills that day and nothing was going to get in his way.

As Sancho relates the story, being left behind at the P Royal Inn even before proceedings started, followed by a puncture on the way to the battleground did not bode well for our hapless knight.

call outAiming to make up for past slights – including one from eight-year old Neil McBryan[1] who once fouled our hero in a football game and was taunted for the next ten years for being heavier than the average schoolboy (more on him later) – Don Quixote was hungry for success and from the moment we left Kota Kubu Bahru, our gallant knight took off with a trail of aspirants in his wake.

By the time we had got through the reservoir area however, our merry band had been whittled down to four.  There was a bit of rotation off the front and I happened to be “in the wind” as we left the reservoir and went round a bend, only to be forced to a dead stop and with it, the others behind me as a bus straddled the width of the road while turning around.

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‘Anonymous Rider’ “wheelsucking” at the Tour of Friendship

To be fair however, with the possessed look of someone who has filtered out all extraneous distractions to focus single-mindedly on an objective (the KOM), Don Quixote spent a good deal of the time at the head of the group, cranking out the pace.

There were one or two attempts to ride off the front for a while but none of them would stick including an effort by our “hero”.  When we passed a “Frasers Hill – 9km” marker, he took off on his own.  It occurred to me that as the Gap – which transitions into the final section of the climb – is 8km from the clock tower, the man from La Mancha must have been making his move.  He was soon 50-80m ahead of us but ride as we might, there was no sign of the Gap and after about 10 minutes, our hapless knight returned to the fold.

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Imagine the words, “Fraser’s Hill” and then number “9” (but slightly offset to the right). That’s what I’m talkin’.

What had obviously happened was we’d passed the 19km point and someone has artfully removed the “1”…(it seems funny writing about it now, but it somehow seemed less so at the time when I was red-lining it, haha!).

With a couple of kilometres to the Gap left, I slipped back and Don Quixote, Trent Standen and Matt Locke continued as a tight group; around a couple of corners and I was by myself.

Fortunately, salvation was at hand just a few minutes later when I came across Mark Losi handing out refreshments from the boot of his car (what a lovely man!) and after a 5 minute break, the four of us set off for the final 8km.

If he had been keeping his powder dry, our hero was now going full bore, shedding riders from the already small group and with 2km to go, he was a good 30 – 40m ahead of me with the others further back.  We came into the last few hundred metres where the road flattens out and I image007thought I’d give it a whirl, or as our aggrieved hero so eloquently put it, he was about to suffer a “despicable act of sporting douchebaggery”.

Perhaps in a hazy, hypoxic state I mistakenly thought that one last all out effort ala Lim Chu Kang or Changi Coastal was fair game, especially when all I could see though the mist was our knight-like hero a dozen bike lengths away.

So much for a 40km draft.

Unfortunately, Don Quixote was very unamused for not only could he see the disappointment in the faces of the hundreds of adoring fans lining the last few metres to the finish line but when Strava added insult to injury by confirming that the once-upon-a-time sleek Pancho still held the Club KOM up Fraser’s, our hero’s honour was completely vanquished.

So delving (with some artistic licence) into the Velominati’s ‘Book of Rules’:

Rule #29 – Air resistance increases with the square of speed

In simple terms, the difference in air resistance between riding at 20kmh vs 40kmh is four times (i.e. 2x speed = 4x drag, 3x speed = 9x drag, etc).

For the mathematically inclined:

image009

It’s no use crying, “We was robbed”, and then bleating that drafting saves up to 40% in energy output…yes in a 55kmh lead out train that may well be true but at the more pedestrian 16-18 kmh speeds experienced up the steeper parts of Fraser, it’s the retarding effects of weight that matter, not air resistance.

Get the science right!

Rule #46 – Who gives a …?

Getting all hot and bothered about a Saturday morning club ride up Fraser’s Hill is hardly becoming of a Gentleman Rider, especially when:

a) the only person who thinks it’s a race is you;
b) your KOM didn’t exactly set the world alight;
c) who gives a FF anyway?

To paraphrase Henry KIssinger’s observation about politics,

“KOM battles are so vicious precisely because the stakes are so small”.

image011
Mao Zedong telling Henry Kissinger that he’s gunning for his Mt Faber KOM. Mao’s lead-out man looks on.

Rule #62 – If you’ve got issues, leave them on your psychiatrist’s couch

With reference to:
Rule #6: “Free your mind and your legs will follow”
Rule #72: “Legs speak louder than words”;
Rule #99: “You can make up any rule you like as long as it sounds good”

Leave your baggage here
Leave your baggage here

Go on.

Get in touch with poor old Neil McBryan. Tell him it wasn’t his fault that his larger-than-life physique was the product of his genes (even if he was stuffing his face with jam butties)…isn’t it about how you make people feel?

Tell him you’re sorry for calling names. And you’ve forgiven him for depriving you of your 15 seconds of glory all those years ago. Bring a big handkerchief (you might need it).

Then get on your bike and smash the next KOM. You deserve it.

Touché. Or was that Douché?

Not Another Kranji | NUS

The sprint/grind (delete as applicable) up SBV usually marks the end of hostilities of a Kranji. It’s the point where the adrenaline drops and thoughts start turning to carrot cake and how to kiasu your way to the front of the coffee queue…

The top of SBV also offers other delights which few ever seem to experience. A quick left turn at the top and you’re into the NUS University campus which offers a wide variety of little loops. especially good for early morning mid-week rides when you want something short & sharp or just to cruise in an area with minimal lights and traffic.

THE TRUE PEAK OF SBV

A left turn at the traffic lights at top of SBV leads you to the first surprise – the true peak of SBV! Most of us are unaware but SBV actually offers up some additional climbing for those that are game. Go left at the traffic lights and then straight on – this will give you an additional 200m of distance and 6 meters more of vertical ascent. The true peak of SBV – it’s in a non-descript carpark!

SBV to carpark

https://www.strava.com/segments/1896071?filter=overall

NUS SBV LOOP

A more interesting ride comes if you go left at the SBV top lights and then immediately left again. This will take you on a fast sweeping descent through the NUS uni campus. The next 1.5Km is mostly downhill until you get towards to main NUS Guild House faculty buildings. Good news is that the treacherous old grate – which claimed a lot of front wheels and front teeth! – has now been removed and it’s totally safe to ride. Hang a right at the foot of the hills and then a left to get onto Pasir Panjang road and follow this all the way back to the foot of SBV. Doing it early in the morning will also bring the sounds of the annoying cockerel on Pasir Pajang – a true sign that you’re there early! Total loop back to SBV foot is 5.4km and it’ll take you about 10 minutes.

SBV NUS

https://www.strava.com/segments/811925?filter=overall

There’s also the chance to extend the loop slightly at the NUS Guild House turn to head up towards Clementi Road. This adds another 2km, another power climb and takes you up down the Saturday 5.15 killing fields hill on Clementi Road.

extended NUS

NUS HOSPITAL LOOP

Going straight at the top of SBV takes you down to the 2nd set of traffic lights – typically were we wait for the stragglers on a Saturday morning. Going left at these lights brings you into the NUS Hospital grounds which also has a nice loop. The loop is only 4.2km long but includes 4 little punchy hills, some fast downhills, 2 sections of cobbles before finishing with a punishing thrust up the backside of SBV.

NUS LOOP

PASIR PANJANG HILL

There’s also a little known climb hidden at the foot of SBV – called Pasir Panjang hill which is about 50m from the usual climb start point. It’s only 300m long but at an average of 5% – it’s a good heart starter. As so few people ride it, its also an easier one to get a good Strava position on for the KoM hunters out there…

pasir panjang

https://www.strava.com/segments/8287793?filter=overall

Long Weekend Coming Up – are you racing in JB?

Next Friday is the start of the Easter long weekend – a great chance to get some quality family time in and earn some brownie points. Brownie points that could then be cashed in for a trip to JB on Sunday 5th April for the Cycosports Pasir Gudang circuit race!

jb6

We’ve extoled the virtues of this event and supporting local racing multiple times. See here for reviews on our last visit to Pasir Gudang, JB

The start list is now available so you can see who your potential competition would be:
http://my2.raceresult.com/details/index.php?page=3&eventid=36543&lang=en

It’s an easy introduction to local racing. It’s possible to ride over to the event circuit & be back in time for lunch. Field sizes are small and it’s only a 1 hour circuit race.

I urge you all to take the plunge, register now and earn the right to eat those Easter eggs on Sunday.

easter egg

Two Wongs don’t make it right

RANTIt is a week of reminders and rants.  The picture here is what Don and me look like on a Thursday evening after a club funded trip when the RTI mailbox is empty.

We tried a few subtle hints, but we forgot that this is a cycling club of predominantly road cyclists and as such you all need clear instructions, preferably backed up with a .gpx file that you can load onto you Garmin fandango.

The club is delighted to be able to help fund club trips that are open to all members to join.  the quid pro quo for this is that one or more people on the trip agree to write an article for either RTI, the ANZA magazine or both.  Short, long, funny, serious, it doesn’t matter, but we want something to share with the rest of the members so they can see what’s going on. So next time you’re on a club trip, take your Apple iSlab with you and on the journey home or in the bar afterwards let your creative juices flow.

And so, on to the second rant, or perhaps a rule reminder.

Rule #67

// Do your time in the wind.

Nobody likes a wheel sucker. You might think you’re playing a smart tactical game by letting everyone else do the work while you sit on, but races (even Town Sign Sprints) are won through cooperation and spending time on the rivet, flogging yourself and taking risks. Riding wheels and jumping past at the end is one thing and one thing only: poor sportsmanship.

wongster
Dastardly Steven Wong plots his next evil infringement of the rules.

On to the content…  The gentleman cyclist received a question that has been baffling many in the club for the past few weeks, and we have another epic Pete Bennett / Dave Cox double act write up of last weeks Frasers trip.

No road closures to be concerned about this week, so have a great riding weekend and…
Let’s be careful out there.
Andrew

Genting and Fraser’s Trip 2015 – well at least it was 2015

By Dave Cox [DC] and Pete Bennett [PB]

[DC] A simple plan for a difficult ride: day one climb to the Genting Highlands to watch the passing of the Tour de Langkawi; day two ride Fraser’s. However, nothing is ever quite that simple and with only a few days to the Genting Stage the TdL organizers pulled Genting (or perhaps more accurately Genting pulled Genting). No panic though the many cooks managed to reshape the trip into an equally palatable menu. The 200km, 2,500m ascent, round trip to Fraser’s with a more sedate 100km loop of the Genting low lands (all relative) for the following day.

When I had committed to doing this trip I had fond memories of doing it in 2013, and although I realized that my current fitness was more akin Jan Ullrich in the off season than that of Chris Froome in yellow it seemed like a good opportunity for riding and banter.

image001
Carb loading for the climbs ahead.

True to form I also managed to have some quality preparation. 2013: torn rotator cuff following a ‘snow –ju’ incident in Korea. 2015: a raging hangover and destroyed quads following an evening of rowing and Jagermiester. Still I, along with 17 other ANZA members, made it to the start at the Park Royal hotel in KL under the watchful eye of feral cat herder general Mark Losi.

After 40 minutes of riding though the relatively peaceful streets of KL it was discovered that we had somehow managed to leave four riders back in the hotel lobby quietly pumping tyres and fettling gears. This incident, handled with aplomb by cat herder general did give two of the favourites for the race to the Clock Tower and early opportunity to stretch their legs and test each other mettle.

When Peter Bennett (aka and hereafter known as “your hero”), and a closely following Steven Wong, passed my lumbering procession on the second ‘small’ climb of the day PB casts a look in my direction to see if I was going to follow. [PB: I was attempting the  Lance Armstrong “look” here, as in, why the feck did you leave the hotel with four riders missing-type “look”. Pfffff]

image003
Coming? Nope, okay, I’ll leave you in the hotel then.

Yea, admittedly I was still very much playing the Jan Ullrich character in this story. We regrouped as briefed at the top of the climb before continuing to the base of Fraser’s. The selections on the early reaches of Fraser’s were broad. Either you were with the leading group or you were on your own. I was on my own and so most of what follows is based on either extensive interviews, which have been carefully corroborated, or (as is much more likely) gossip and partisan statements.

For those that haven’t ridden it, Fraser’s is a humane 40 km climb much of which is on a shady road which winds up the peaks at around 3%. It’s a bit like South Buena Vista for 40kms. The last 8km is harder but is still interesting, challenging and perhaps most importantly manageable. The final 1.5km to the clock tower is flat with a little rise in the last few hundred metres. It is an idyllic setting (although less so when the TdL roadshow is there) that is unaccustomed to the acts of cut-throat brutality that followed. By all (1) account(s) it was the scene of the biggest act of sporting douchebaggery since forever [PB: actually Dave, see list below}. In the interest of fairness I made brief enquiries of both actors in this fray. One gave an expansive and expletive ridden testimony, whereas the other just said “well, it was more like 25 meters”. An answer which will be conveniently be taken out of context.

The short, and PG, version of the tale is that Peter Bennett had been making the running on the climb, keeping the pace high and for the last 25km an ANZA rider whose name we will keep anonymous for his own safety [PB: No we won’t, it was SW] had been holding on so tightly to his wheel that Rizla were exploring thinner papers to measure such a gap. Heart rates and adrenaline were high but not high enough to prevent the leading group hurling abuse at a living legend whose name was all over his jersey.

[PB. Yea this so called “living legend”: Half way up the last leg to Frasers, we came across “some bloke” in blue freewheeling down the opposite way. Being a one-way street, I obviously decided it was a good idea to question whether he was “dining alone” that night and yelled at him as such. I got some garbled replied which turned out to be something like “I know what I’m “fecking” doing”. Yea, right son.

The Bluebloke later crossed Dione Wong in the same reckless manner, turned around and rode with her side by side back up to the top of Frasers, chatting with her the whole way and presumably apologising for his act of cycling crapiness. Mystery surrounds whether he got her phone number or not.]

image006
Oi! You’re going the wrong way mate

[DC] Still, back to the action. “Anonymous Rider” held closely to our hero’s wheel but then in the closing 25m (a “misunderstanding” according to one version, a “despicable act of sporting douchebaggery” according to the other) the Anonymous Rider made the decisive move and beat Bennett to the clock tower by the slimmest of margins.

[PB] A short lesson on drafting while cycling, if I may at this point David and you can all assume I’m giving the lesson with my arms folded and a scowl on my face:

One can save up to 40% in energy output by drafting on a bike behind another. This is used to great effect by World Tour teams in the lead out on a flat stage of a Grand Tour, for example, in which a designated sprinter is kept in the drafting position until the very last 200 metres. Or in our world when a rider is past his or her peak and hanging on a bit.

On a hill, depending on the gradient, the energy saving is of course much less and drops to zero at a steep gradient however on a 3-5% grad, sitting on a wheel can be massively advantageous, particularly if the hill is very long. Say 40 km long. Again, this is used to great effect in the professional world; witness Team Sky’s performance only this past Saturday when they effectively lead out Riche Porte to victory in stage 4 of Paris-Nice. And good luck to them. Indeed, at our amateur level, we do the same in a local race when we can.

And at this point I return to Bukit Fraser…

Now I’m not about to name names here (although I did earlier if you weren’t paying attention) so to “Dick Turpin” who overtook me at the top of Frasers…not in the final 500 metres, not in the final 200 metres, not even the final 100 metres but in the final 25 metres…I have one word and one number for you:

Rule 67.

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Separated at Birth: SW and Dick Turpin

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By coincidence, this month’s edition of My Unsporting Life came through the letter box this morning featuring a short history of such sporting douchebaggery. Oddly enough, your hero features twice and as it happens, we reached #1!:

  1. Dick Turpin, ANZA Cycling rider, Fraser’s Hill – 2015; overtakes your dashing hero in last 25 metres of Frasers Hill after sucking wheels for 40km. 40 kilometres!!!!
  2. Lance Armstrong – (something about EPO)
  3. Ben Johnson – Seoul Olympics, 1988 (Wired in the 100m final)
  4. Fred Lorz – St Louis Olympics, 1904 (Completed 11 miles of the marathon in a car)
  5. Diageo Maradona – Argentina vs England, 1986 (The Hand of God incident)
  6. Neil “Splat” McBryan – Deliberately fouling me when clean through with an open net gapping in the last minute of the Madigan Primary School Year Six House Football final with the scores locked at one goal each (I was eight years old. I told him I’d never speak to him again and didn’t, even though we were at the same school together for another ten years. We called him “Splat” because he was so fat Ha! Ha! Ha!). And no I’m not scarred at all by the experience. He didn’t even get sent off because at primary school, nobody was allowed to be sent off. Tsch. What lesson does that give to kids I ask you? I wonder what school Stephen Wo…never mind.

Enough said. Back to you David.

[DC] Yes okay Peter, time to settle down and take a walk round the block. Confusion still surrounds the actual circumstance and so in a moment of self-importance I declared the true victor as Peter Bennett (he was closest to me at the time and look like he was going to hit someone so I thought I’d better) and to the podium he swiftly went.

The only podium girls we could rustle up. [PB: I thought they were quite attractive actually]
I had missed all this by virtue of being off the back and then breaking a wheel because of my heft [PB: ie beer gut]. By this point I had been enjoying the ride from the cat herder general’s car. My only other participation in the weekend was to wind people up and to do a very angry descent on a borrowed wheel (Thanks Dione!).

Getting the team of riders back to KL took the cat herder general’s skill to the next level and he deserves a medal for all his work and the hospitality we received over the weekend. I fully enjoyed the hospitality knowing I could have a lie-in on Sunday whilst other flogged themselves around the foothills of Genting. All that was left to do to round off the weekend was to watch the circuit section of the final stage of the TdL and get on the bus. The first part was very successful, but a few souls still managed to be late for the bus. PB, maybe you could tell everyone of your awesome performance the next day?

[PB] Who, moi? Awesome? Ah shucks thanks David. It’s the Sempah climb is awesome, not the rider. It’s about 15km long and around the same grad as SBV/Frasers so far from difficult. But this was my effort at trying to be Chris Froome, except at 80kg, I’m probably about 75kg heavier than he is and whereas I was trying to keep a steady 280W and a cadence of 85, he is probably churning out 450W and a cadence of 300 million.

Anyhoo, that’s what I did and was delighted that apart from a few dozen metres, I stuck at the front and burned everyone else off. Yea! Including Dick Turpin. Double Yea! Trying doing that with Pierre and Vinny on your wheel. Boo. The ride after that is a delight of rolling countryside surrounded by mountains and small villages. One last hefty climb back up to Sempah and we were done bar the 15km decent which was as cool as. The only thing left to look forward to after that was beers by the pool, listen to the Cat Herder in Chief yelling “Ah Jésus, here comes Jesus” for the last time and taking an official measurement of Alex’s socks to see if they were Rule complainant.

And that was that. 300km in the leg bank, something like 3,000 metres climbed and excellent prep for the Haute Route in August. Bring it on!

The Gentleman Cyclist – Numpties

Gentleman Cyclist

It has been a while since we heard from The Gentleman Cyclist.  He has been beavering away in his workshop, having heard that cyclists today seem to like changing gear from the handle bars rather than reaching down to the lever on their down tube.  TGC has been trying to find a cable long enough to allow him to try this out, and succeeded by stripping a cable from the Austin Healey in his garage..  The result was quite a revelation and he feels the trend may catch on.  Enough of this, we need to interrupt his invention tests as we received an important question in a letter early last week and TGC has been itching to offer his opinion.

Dear TGC
I recently joined a cycling club and one of the day idea sounds attractive as it will be fast like me but it has been billed as a “no-numpties” ride.

I’m not familiar with this term but since you are knowledgable on all cycling etiquette matters I thought you might be able to shed some light on this and advise if this is a ride I should be doing.

Regards
Numpty Dumpty

Dear Numpty

Thank you for your letter.  I was intrigued when I read it as it was not a term that we hear much down here in Oxfordshire.  It is almost certainly not a term that should be used in polite company and I wondered if perhaps your friend from the cycling club is from North of the Border.  Glasgow perhaps or Aberdeen.  Is he large, bearded, ginger haired, smells perennially of whiskey and wears one of those skirts that the Scots insist on calling a kilt?

The starting place for all definitions is, of course, that momentous tome of the English language, the Oxford English Dictionary.  The OED defines the word as follows:

Numpty: A stupid or ineffectual person.

If we start to break this down for cycling purposes, then stupid might refer to not knowing how to ride a bicycle properly, or perhaps more likely, not knowing how to ride safely in a group.  Equally possibly he is trying to highlight that  or being unaware of the protocols of riding in his group could, perhaps bring an element of danger to a fast and furious ride.  Ineffectual on the other hand is probably assessing an element of how much work an individual is willing to do to support the group, and namely, no wheelsuckery.  This therefore would seem to imply that if you are either brand new to riding with the club or you have the intention to sit on the back (cough! triathlon style) and let the others work for you, then this is probably not your ride.

On a lighter note, and entering into the spirit of our colonised neighbours, I think it important in my answer to give some guidance on the proper usage of the term as just throwing it into any sentence just won’t do.  For this guidance, there is no better place to look than the esteemed Urban Dictionary.  I know you are probably asking yourself what a Gentleman such as myself would be doing even with knowledge of such a base publication, but when one cycles to the remoter parts of  High Wycombe then, if one is to be able to communicate, then one, as the saying goes, needs to be “down with the kids”

Urban Dictionary defined Numpty as follows:
“Someone who (sometimes unwittingly) by speech or action demonstrates a lack of knowledge or misconception of a particular subject or situation to the amusement of others.”

or to be blunt

“Numpty first surfaced on the terraces of west of Scotland football grounds, many many years ago. A player who couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a shovel would be a f***ing numpty.”

In terms of using the phrase, it is important to put on a broad Scottish accent when you use it to get the full effect and some examples you might use are:

“Awww Jimmy ya numpty!! You couldnae score wi’ ma’ sister!”
“they numpties couldnae organise a pissup in a brewery.”
“Nay! That wisnae wit she meant, ya greet numpty!”

To bring this home, you might consider the following at your next club ride:

“Did ya see that greet numpty fall over at the lights, he couldnae unclip from his pedals”
“Would that numpty on the front pedal when he’s going downhill the rest of the group is up ‘is arse”
“What’s that numpty doing ten meters off the front?  Couldnae he look over his shoulder and see he’s riding faster than the rest o us”
“Ya couldnae sprint for a bus ya greet numpty, just sit on me wheel and I’ll show you how its done”

These are, of course, just guidelines to get you started, and I look forward to hearing the inventiveness of the crowd in tomorrow’s ride.

In the immortal words of that peoples cyclist Mao Zedong
“Let a hundred flowers blossom ya greet numpties!”

TGC

Threadbare shorts week

bad shortsNothing worse than being on a ride and noticing that the rider in front has a pair of shorts that have potentially seen better days. The threadbare rear showing a bit too much skin and even some crack in extreme cases.

Puts a whole new spin on “Assos” shorts..

RTI is a bit like those threadbare shorts this week. Content is at a minimum as we graciously await the deluge of ride reports from this weeks Genting club trip 🙂

Knowing that some of you base your entire Friday around the RTI, we did force something out & so todays slender edition has a couple of articles. Maybe use those extra minutes that we’ve now freed up to register for some of the upcoming races – Cycosports, Cycle Singapore and OCBC Cycle!

Inital feedback on the new coffee place was mostly very positive so it’s likely that the experiment will be continued this week. Stay tuned for an update on FB to confirm that.

Keep the rubber side up & the arse cracks covered!

OCBC Cycle Speedway

OCBC Cycle 2015 was announced this week – with the event due to take place on 29th-30 August.

In addition to the usual road race (“challenge”) on ECP on the Sunday, this year’s event introduces a new race on the Saturday called “OCBC Cycle Speedway”.
Cycle Speedway in Europe typically means racing round an extreme hotdog circuit and is fast, furious crazy racing.

OCBC Cycle Speedway is less manic and will take place on a 1.5km loop out at Singapore Sports Hub – specifically the 2 roundabouts alongside Nichol Highway.
speedway map

15 local teams will take part in a knock-out competition to determine the overall winner. Each team will consist of 4 riders and they have to cover 10 laps in total of the course in each heat – against 4 other clubs. The race will be done relay style allowing some cunning tactics about how many laps each of your riders does.
Safety will be maintained as the course is relatively long, with some good straights and there will only ever be 10 riders on the circuit at one time.

Winners of the Club Championships will receive S$800, S$600 and S$400, respectively, as well as Vertix Velo wireless cycling headsets worth S$268 each.
Winners from both events will get to ride in the Sunday’s Champions Wave at the start of the 42km Sportive Ride – this will put them ahead of the main public race and alongside some of the SEA national riders that will be in town for a separate version of the SEA Champions Speedway.

I was lucky enough to spend a few work hours filming a video explaining the Speedway format. That should be available online in the next week and the new race format will become clearer then.

speedway2

ANZA has secured a number of team slots for this event & we’ll be publicising more details soon on this. If you’re interested in taking part then do let one of the committee know and we’ll keep you in mind for the teams we submit. Potentially that might also include a ladies team..

In the meantime, the rest of the OCBC Cycle events are open for early bird registration at: ocbccycle.com
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